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Dramatic Me

I realised I could hurt another person early on

When I punched my brother in the arm

He was 5 and I was 8

He whipped me with his trousers after school

And I used to run away

One day I snapped and I hit back

With the intention of hurting him

His smile turned upside down

And he cried

As his trousers fell to the ground

I felt bad and decided then

That I didn't want to hit anybody again

So instead my anger channels into words

And forms all my deepest blades

At points I've forgotten my decision

And deliberately used words with the intention

Of making someone else feel bad

With a keen eye for weakness

I know what to say

To have positive or negative influence on somebody

And I try my best to be my best

The version of me that feels like LSD

But life's a complex trip

And it's easy to forget

The things we've chosen in our own heads

Especially when we're stuck in drama

I'm not always the little boy with a protective streak for his brother

Sometimes I'm the predator

The sociopath

The martyr

I want to try and be some sort of saviour

But I also want to enjoy all of the flavours

I want what's best for me and I want what's best for others

I want to be your friend but I also want to be your lover

I am no-one other than everyone I can be

I've (thankfully) lived a great life so I'm happy to be me

I love my shape

I love my smile

I love the way I can make others smile

I love that I can be an asshole when I choose to be

It can even be fun to argue when I'm not taking myself seriously

I am strong and my own will matters

But to live for only me is to end up like the hatters

Because the deepest truth of the matter is

There's only One of us here

And if I live like that then that's all I'll notice

But if I choose to engage, after accepting the One

Then me, my family and friends can all have fun

We'll sing and dance the drama out

We'll wear great costumes all about

We'll help each other when we're down

We'll radiate Love into towns

The world is waking up

As I awake myself

As I choose to love myself more

The world chooses to love itself more

Me first is the same thing as everyone else first

But don't go too far in either direction

If you want to find the middle

Because that's where I am